News Bulletin

Wednesday

November 9, 2005 11:30 p.m.
“Eye On The Dixie Line”

Regional hero and junkyard dog recipient, (unrecognizable in this photo) Tattoo Goodboy left the “court” house today after being arrested for “Inciting To Riot” stemming from an incident last night at a doghouse saloon.
Speaking briefly with reporters, Goodboy said when he rode his motorcycle into the parking lot of ”I Ain’t Here Saloon” on the outskirts of Gnat City a herd of hogs rotor-rooted him.
He accused Hell’s Angel, Ms. M. Loo-Strumpit of hitting him with a designer GrannyPan when he asked her for mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Ms. Loo-Strumpit claims that Goodboy jumped from a skateboard, not a motorcycle, onto the back of her motorcycle shouting he was the Rotweiller guard dog she was there to meet. She went on to say, “He’s just a coca-cola cowboy with an Eastwood smile and Donald Trump hair”.
Declining further comment, Mr. Goodboy referred all questions to his dream team, prominent local attorneys, Crow's Nest & Associates.

*Video courtesy of CNMSN
Editor’s note: MSN's server broke down and cried over this bulletin.